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Still, an industrious-yet-lonely man with a boner is basically a sexual MacGyver.

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Sure, maybe you could buy the Bullet home smoothie-making kit and use it a few times, but for the most part, you're just filling a plain old cup with vodka and drinking that.

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It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it.

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Maybe you have a slice of ham.

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Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky.

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